You’ve been dating a handsome, intelligent guy for a few months and things have been going great for the most part.
He takes you on cool dates, tells you how much he likes spending time with you, and has introduced you to some of his friends. But sometimes you feel as though he’s pulling away and you can’t figure out if his feelings are growing deeper or if he just likes hanging out with you and doesn’t plan on committing to you anytime soon. This leads you to over-analyzing your interactions with him and telling your friends every little detail to get their opinion on the situation.
I get it. It’s hard not knowing where you stand in a relationship - especially if you have strong feelings for the other person. I’ve seen it time and time again throughout my decade of working as a dating coach. But I am here to tell you a secret. You can see through his actions exactly how he feels about you.
Which is why…
In this article, I’m going to explain the “hidden” signs to know if the man in your life is falling in love with you.
This is going to help you understand if you’re wasting your time with a guy who will lead you on for years or if you’re heading down a path towards a healthy, fulfilling relationship.
If you’ve struggled with men who keep you on pins and needles about the status of your relationship, then this knowledge will empower you to make the right decision when it comes to the guy you’re dating.
Let’s get started. Here are 5 subtle signs to know he’s falling for you.
A high-quality man wants an equal partner who can contribute just as much to the relationship as he offers. Despite what you may hear in popular media, most men aren’t looking for a doting, submissive housewife who hangs on his every move. Sure, he will date a woman like that for a few months - and sit there with a smile on his face as she cleans his house, cooks his meals, and sleeps with him. But this isn’t the kind of woman he marries. A high-quality man wants a partner who is interesting, motivated, and successful.
This is why when a man is falling in love with you he will be more interested in your success. This could mean he asks about what projects you’re working on or wants to know about the what and why of your day-to-day. Or maybe he wants to learn about your goals and takes the time to give you advice and be supportive as you work on reaching them.
You see, when a man falls in love, he starts viewing you and him as a third entity. If you recognize he wants to stand by your side as you accomplish your dreams, it’s because he’s now thinking in terms of “we” and imagining a future with you.
The deepest fulfillment in relationships comes from giving. When a man falls in love, he desires to give more to his partner.
Part of giving to you and making you happy comes with being willing to compromise. If he’s falling in love with you, he will show you the respect you deserve by sitting down with you, listening to your perspective, and finding a way to meet in the middle. And if he isn’t falling in love with you and you have a disagreement? He will remove himself from the situation - whether that’s walking out the door or choosing not to see you anymore.
You see, when a man is falling in love he’s willing to put in the work to make you feel good. And he knows making you happy will sometimes involve doing things that wouldn’t be his first choice like watching The Notebook or going to a long, boring work event with you.
Personally, I’m someone who hates hearing that I’m not right (as most people are). I would love to just brush any conflict under the table and not have to go through the work of making things better. But with Kathy, my wife, I am willing to put in the time and effort to talk things out when we disagree - because I love her and it’s important to me that our relationship is healthy and stable.
If a man is starting to develop deep feelings for you, he’s instincts will kick into action and he’ll move into “protector” mode.
What’s this look like? He starts to take protective actions to make sure you’re being taken care of. This could mean he walks on the outside of the sidewalk or waits for you to get inside your house safely when he drops you off. He chooses to do sweet things for you because you are someone he is genuinely interested in.
Let me give you an example. One of my clients, Ava, met a fantastic man named Simon after working through my program. They had only been dating for around three months when her dog started to experience some health problems. She was devastated as she had the dog for over ten years and it was like a child to her.
She told Simon her dog had to have surgery and she was very nervous. Although it would have been easy for him to send his best wishes and continue with his daily life, Simon offered to help.
He sat with her at the vet as her dog got surgery, holding her hand and telling her everything would be okay. This was very meaningful to Ava who certainly didn’t expect him to do that for her. Two years later, Ava told this story at their wedding as one of the first moments she knew he was a keeper.
If a man is offering to help you as you go through a hard time or perform subtle actions just to make sure you’re okay, it’s because he sees something special in you and wants to take care of you (even if he knows you’re a strong woman and you’d be fine on your own).
4. He Lets Other Women Know He’s No Longer Available
If you’re dating a high-quality man, odds are other women are also interested in him. While it’s fine to date around in the beginning, if he’s falling in love with you, he will make it a point to cut off any relationships with other women he’s dating or who are pursuing him romantically.
If a man is not making it known you’re together, there is a chance it could be because he doesn’t want other women to know because it would make it more difficult for him to sleep around.
A man who is falling for you won’t have any problem deleting dating apps and making it known to the world he’s with you. This could mean he makes your relationship Facebook official or posts pictures of you together on his social media channels. If he’s not much of a social media guy, then he might show you he’s no longer seeing other women by having no issue going out with you in public or introducing you to friends and family. Remember, if he’s moving toward a long-term commitment with you, he will be proud to be with you.
5. He Shows His Soft Side
In most modern societies, men are expected to be confident and dominant. Even worse, we aren’t encouraged to share stories where we appear vulnerable.
Since most men don’t wear their emotions on their sleeve, you should take note if the guy in your life is sharing his soft side with you.
A man who trusts you will open up to you about hard topics and become vulnerable around you when he needs your loving support. He may turn to you for reassurance, a shoulder to cry on or simply for someone to listen to him without judgment.
Now that you know the five hidden signs to look for, you’ll be able to tell if the man you’re dating is worth investing in and looking for a long term commitment.
Imagine observing your relationship and realizing the man you’re seeing has spent so much time helping you with projects or listening to you detail your dreams -- because he’s thinking in terms of “we.” He takes time to come to agreements with you and understand your perspective because he respects you and wants to make you happy. Not only does he share his masculine protector side with you, but he opens up and talks about hard times and looks to you for support. He sees a future with you and has no problem getting rid of other women because he knows you’re the one for him.
If the man you’re dating isn’t showing any of these signs he’s falling in love with you, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship. You deserve to be with someone who cherishes you and wants to form a beautiful partnership together.
Maybe you’re watching this and thinking, “Is it possible that one man would do all these things if he wants to be with me? Maybe one or two...but all five?” Look, I know you’re a hardworking, passionate woman, so it’s time to take a look at your love life and demand exactly what you want. Don’t settle with a man who isn’t willing to date you exclusively because he wants to keep his options open or waste time on someone who doesn’t care about building a future with you.