Let me tell you a story.
Years ago, before I even met my wife, I went out for some cocktails with coworkers after work.
There was a huge group of us, but I was particularly focused on one woman who I hadn’t talked to before. She worked on a different floor than me - and honestly, she was gorgeous. She had long blonde hair, bright green eyes, and a huge smile.
We sat at a big table and I couldn’t help but find myself sneaking peeks of her throughout the night. Everyone was laughing and chatting - but my mind was completely elsewhere.
Then it happened. We made eye contact. Or actually - she caught me gazing at her. Before I could even catch her reaction, I looked away in embarrassment. My face flushed red as I stared into my drink. I nervously tapped my fingers on the table. I started debating scenarios in my mind. “Should I go to the bathroom? Should I just leave the bar altogether? Maybe I can get someone to introduce me to her?”
One of my coworkers said my name loudly and I looked up confused. The entire table was staring at me. I asked them “What’s going on?” “What’s going on up HERE?” my coworker Melissa cracked back - pointing to my head. The table erupted in laughter. She finished her statement, “Everyone was saying we should go somewhere else. So, hurry up and finish your drink!”
As you can see from this story, sometimes when a man is highly attracted to a woman he temporarily loses his mind. And if you can recognize when a man feels this way about you, you’ll have quite the advantage.
In this article, I’m going to tell you the 3 under the radar indicators that a man is highly attracted to you.
Now, you may be thinking to yourself, “If he’s so into me, why wouldn’t he just let me know?”
That’s a good question. Often, you may be in situations where it is inappropriate to indicate he is attracted to you. Or, he may be too nervous to hit on you.
That’s why you need to look for these secret signs so you can know when a man is into you, even if he doesn’t say it. This will allow you to know when to show interest in a man and open up your dating pool to many eligible bachelors who are eager to take you out on awesome dates.
Let’s dive in.
Of course, there are many ways to tell if a man is attracted to you.
But I’m not going to tell you the most obvious ones like if he is making strong eye contact or if he wants to spend a ton of time with you.
There are more subtle signs…
The first sign to know if he is attracted to you is if his Macho Man Syndrome sets in.
What’s this? Well, maybe you’ve known him for a while, and all of a sudden you’re seeing this different side to him. He starts using a deeper voice or standing straight with his chest puffed out.
In no time, he went from Steve Jobs to The Rock.
This is how you know he’s really into you. He’s trying to impress you by showing he’s manly, strong and capable of slaying dragons in your honor.
Now, some women might see this and think, “What in the world happened? I liked the other guy!”
Although his behavior may seem a bit strange, don’t be offended. Remember, he’s acting this way because he likes you. Obviously, if he’s being rude, aggressive, or offensive - then you should call him out and shut it down.
But if he is simply trying to stand out like a peacock and show you what he’s got - smile to yourself knowing you’ve got him.
One of my clients, Mia, experienced this with a guy she had been dating for around a month. At first, he was a nice, shy guy who let her do most of the talking. Mia didn’t have a problem with this since she is very chatty and outgoing. One evening the guy invited her to go out salsa dancing. She was surprised by his choice given his quiet demeanor but interested to see how the night would go.
Once they entered the dance club, he completely transformed. He said “Hi” to everyone as he walked in and shook hands with a few people working there. Then when they hit the dance floor, she was hit with another surprise. He took her hand and spun her in circles. Then he grabbed her hips and lead her every step of the way. At the end of the first dance, he took her face in his hands and gave her a long, steamy kiss.
She was mesmerized by this change. “Who was this confident, striking man?” She told me, “It was one of the best dates I’ve ever been on! What do you think changed?” This is when I told her, “He’s overcome with Macho Man Syndrome - because he’s really attracted to you! He’s showing you what he thinks is the best version of himself to impress you and win you over.”
As you may have learned by now in the video, a man’s brain alarms sound like crazy when he’s into you. And that means he will act more extreme than usual.
This can take many forms. But usually when introverts are nervous, they may become visibly uncomfortable. And when extroverts are nervous, they may speak more than usual or faster than usual.
Now, if a guy ISN’T interested in you - he will show it by looking a bit tired or uninterested. Maybe he will get out his phone and start scrolling through it. Or he won’t meet your eyes and sort of daze off as if he is in class and listening to a boring lecture.
A man will present the opposite behavior if he’s highly attracted to you. He will show stimulation in some kind of energy whether it is nervous or confident energy.
Men tend to fantasize when they are around women they are highly attracted to. He imagines feeling the curves of your body and listening to you tell him how much you want him. Or he thinks about how he would love to hear all about your passions and what you really want to do with your life. His fantasies may be sensual or sweet. Either way, he’s in his head, so it’s difficult for him to pay attention.
When I first started dating Kathy (who is now my wife), I was a bit nervous. I had been on plenty of dates - but I could tell there was something different about her. Not only was she beautiful, but she had such a genuine, sweet personality. I was highly attracted to how she looked on the outside - and the type of person she was on the inside.
I remember after around a month of dating we went out for breakfast and I was anxiously rambling on and on about something - then completely lost my train of thought. I looked down at my pancakes, willing them to help me get it together. I asked Kathy, “What was I saying?” She smiled and reminded me where I left off. At no point did she ever tease me for being awkward or tell me to relax. By acting calm, confident, and self-assured, Kathy continued to show me that she was a high-value woman and I was lucky to be with her.
Maybe you’re asking yourself, “How do I know he’s fantasizing about me - and not staring off into the distance because he’s uninterested or bored?”
That’s a good question. But it will be easy for you to tell by his body language and his responses to you. If he seems uninterested in the conversation, it’s likely he isn’t fantasizing about you. But if you catch him wandering off a little bit then when he comes back to the conversation he is energized, making eye contact, and devoting his attention to you - you’ll know he’s highly attracted to you.
No matter what, you should always assume the man you’re dating or talking with is attracted to you. This presents you as a confident, high-value woman and lets you remain in control.
Even if a man is acting nervous by exuding a stimulated energy, don’t try to make him feel comfortable by telling him, “Everything is alright” or “I can tell you’re nervous, it’s okay.” Just let him be himself and accept him for who he is. If you go out of your way to try and make him feel comfortable, he will assume you can tell he’s uncomfortable and become embarrassed. Of course, you don’t want that to happen. So, just settle in and enjoy the ride. The more you get to know each other, the more both of you will loosen up and the good times will flow.
Now that you know the 3 secret signs he’s highly attracted to you, you never have to question his interest and if he wants to spend more time with you.